Episode Guide

Aliens land in South Park and kidnap Kyle's little brother.

Cartman wins the school's essay contest, and a celebrity comes to town.

The boys' hunting trip is threatened by activity from a nearby volcano and a mysterious creature.

Stan's dog explores his sexuality.

A genetic engineering experiment unleashes Stan's mutant twin.

With the help of Stan's grandfather, the kids summon the Grim Reaper.

Trick or treat in South Park is interrupted by an outbreak of "Pink Eye."

Jesus and Satan fight a battle for spiritual domination which conflicts with Cartman's birthday party.

Government authorities mistake Cartman for a starving African child and send him to Ethiopia.

When Kyle's musical holiday pal Mr. Hankey shows up it makes for a memorable Christmas in South Park.

A substitute teacher poses a threat to Stan and Wendy's relationship.

The boys find a prehistoric relic that spawns a monster that threatens to destroy the world.

Cartman searches for the identity of his father.

A Terrence and Phillip special presentation: Not Without My Anus.

Cartman finds out the identity of his father.

A crime wave hits South Park, chickens are violated, and Barbrady resigns.

The boys find out what it means to be circumcised and they try to save Ike from that fate.

South Park citizens help the school nurse deal with a strange medical disorder.

Ned and Jimbos' cable show goes head to head in a rating war with Jesus and Pals.

It is up to Ms. Crabtree to save the entire busload of South Park Elementary School kids after a crash.

A ban on fireworks threatens the 4th of July festivities until the mayor comes up with a plan to put South Park on the map.

A film festival comes to town, and the town, and Mr. Hankey are over-run by Hollywood types and the expanding population.

The kid's parents have only their best interests at heart when they arrange for the kids to be exposed to the Chickenpox virus. The boys see things differently.

The boys are strangely drawn to the planetarium, and Cartman is on a personal quest to win the lead in the Broadway production of Les Miserables.

The boys build rival clubhouses and Stan is psyched to have Wendy visit for a game of Truth or Dare.

It's rodeo time in South Park when Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny compete in the Bull riding event.

Chef runs into some financial trouble and organizes a benefit concert with some of his very talented friends.

Cartman becomes a really nice guy and Stan is suspicious of his new pet fish.

Stan's parents say no to a road-trip to Cartman's Grandma's house, but Stan joins the boys anyway.

The boys are assigned a group project and end up working with a nervous geeky kid named Tweak.

The boys' discovery of a man encased in ice threatens Stan and Kyle's friendship.

The boys are sent to the Costa Rican rainforest as a part of the Getting Gay with Kids choir tour.

The citizens of South Park are exploding randomly. Stan's Dad is on the case.

He's finally found the girl of his dreams and the boys feel like they've lost their best friend.

The boys coerce two of their reluctant classmates, Tweek and Craig, into a school yard fight.

While camping on the banks of Stark's Pond, the boys discover the last two Jakovasaurs left alive on the planet.

Cartman sues Stan for sexual harassment.

Shelly babysits Cartman.

The boys, mimicking one of their favorite TV shows, phone the local police station. Soon the ATF is stationed outside a town party and a standoff reminiscent of WACO is played out in South Park.

As all of South Park waits for the meteor shower to begin, Kyle and Ike go into the wilderness in a Jewbilee camping trip.

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny are caught up in the latest fad from Japan, Chinpoko Mon.

When Starvin' Marvin uncovers a crashed spaceship in Ethiopia, he steals it and heads out on a trek across the globe in search of food for his people. Meanwhile, an old nemesis resurfaces and is "bigger" than ever.

While traveling though South Park on Halloween eve, the band KORN is run off the road by a mysterious force that's haunting the small mountain town. Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny enlist KORN's help in solving the spooky mystery and once again save the citizens of South Park in a Scooby Doo parody Halloween episode.

The gang competes in the South Park Elementary School Annual Spelling Bee, but get tough competition from two home schooled kids, Rebecca and Mark. Meanwhile, Kyle tries to teach Rebecca what love is, while Cartman tries to convince his mom that he should be home schooled.

General Cartman E. Lee turns a Civil War re-enactment in South Park into a marauding Rebel Army.

Mr. Hankey's Holiday Special, with songs from his Christmas Classics album.

Cartman and Kenny get their periods, and Jesus gets Rod Stewart to perform for his Millennium Show. This is the only show that will answer age-old questions about who we are and what we're all about.

The boys go to Arkansas for the "4 Million-Child Blow 2000!", the first world-wide recorder concert.

Cartman is sent to juvenile hall and while the boys attempt to break him out, Cartman adjusts to life on the inside.

Cartman impersonates the Tooth Fairy and builds a thriving business by appropriating teeth from less fortunate children.

When the boys go to the Cirque de Chevile, they fall hard for the Romanian Contorting Quintuplets. But helping the Quints escape their country means a lot more trouble - named Janet Reno- than anyone in South Park bargained for. Meanwhile, Kenny goes to Romania to pursue his singing career.

South Park Elementary's new student, Timmy, is excused from doing homework when he's misdiagnosed with ADD; so the boys immediately try to get ADD too. Meanwhile, Timmy becomes the lead singer of a heavy metal band.

Find out more about Pip's past in South Park's recreation of the classic novel Great Expectations

Cartman suddenly decides Stan, Kenny and Kyle are too immature to be his friends. When he goes in search of more sophisticated companions, he is trilled to discover plenty of adult men who want to be friends with 8-year-old boys.

The only way for Stan to save his best friend's life is to take on a radical heath food peddler. Kyle is on his deathbed with a rare kidney disease and his mother is trying to cure him with a variety of natural, holistic crap. Cartman, meanwhile, is the only one who can save Kyle's life - and although he willing to bargain, his price is high…

Chef fights a racist flag while the children hold a debate.

In the spirit of the Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block and N'Sync, Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman form their own boy band. While Cartman is booking their first gig, everyone in town is lining up to audition for a spot as the 5th band member.

When Priest Maxi tells the town that they are going to Hell unless they repent, the Boys fear for themselves and Timmy. Meanwhile, an old flame returns to Hell, and makes life difficult for Satan.

Satan is torn between two lovers as he tries to choose between his new boyfriend and his ex, Saddam Hussein. As a last resort, he finally looks to a higher power for advice. Meanwhile, Cartman has taken the lead role of evangelist as he and the boys try to assure their places in heaven.

Fearing their new 4th grade teacher Miss Choksondik, the kids build a time machine out of Timmy's wheelchair to travel back to a happier, easier school year.

The fate of the world is in Cartman's hands...

The 4th grade Thanksgiving play is in trouble and Stan, Kyle and Kenny go to great lengths to make their production a hit

Cartman goes to a fat camp while Kenny gets paid to do gross things.

The kids take over the town and all hell breaks loose.

Mr. Hankey's visit is delayed this year because he is all tied up with the new wife and kids. Without Mr. Hankey, the town of South Park is in a Christmas slump. The boys are doing everything they can to bring the spirit of Christmas to everyone in town. Thus, they are inspired to make a video Christmas card.

Cartman gets pubic hair. But Cartman doesn't get just any pubes; he buys some from one of the older kids at South Park Elementary, Scott Tenorman. Cartman wants to show the other boys that he can be the first kid in the fourth grade with this mark of manliness, until everyone tells him that pubes don't count unless he grows his own. Cartman seeks wicked revenge on Scott Tenorman when he won't give him his money back

The citizens of South Park are all tuned in for the biggest moment in television history when the word "sh*t" is broadcast for the very first time. This epic utterance triggers a chain of events that threaten the world, as we know it, leaving Chef and the boys to save the day.

Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny show up for their scout troop meeting only to find their new leader is none other than Big Gay Al! Timmy is happy and excited to be joining the group until Jimmy, the new "handicapped" kid, steals his spotlight.

A magician performs in South Park, convincing Kenny, Cartman, and Kyle to join his cult-like following, leaving Stan and Jesus to save them.

Everyone's favorite comedy team has broken up! When the boys discover their idols, Terrance & Phillip, have called it quits, they'll go to any lengths to reunite the duo.

Eric Cartman inherits One Million Dollars! With his newfound gains, Cartman indulges in a lifelong dream and he buys his own amusement park, Cartmanland! But in inimitable Cartman style, he decides to keep the park all to himself and won't let anyone in, especially Stan and Kyle.

Cartman, Kenny, Stan and Kyle are taking Sex Ed! In time honored tradition, the boys are separated from the girls and schooled in the mysteries of the body by none other than Mr. Mackey. Ms. Choksondik is responsible for the girls' education in the womanly arts while Mr. Garrison demonstrates proper condom use.

There's a new character in South Park & the boys take up this cause against conniving corporate leaders & the evil U.S. Government.

Filled with the American Spirit, the children of South Park Elementary have all sent their dollars to the children of Afghanistan. When the boys receive a package from the kids they sent the money to; personnel from every government agency descend upon the town to investigate. As a result, Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman are forced to return an Afghani goat to its homeland.

As part of an elaborate joke, Cartman manages to get Kenny's school picture plastered all over every "missing child" milk carton in the country. Cartman finds everything about his prank funny until a very strange couple turns up in South Park searching for their lost boy.

When Garrison gets fed up with long lines, delayed flights and the airline industry in general, he decides to build his own transportation device. Anticipation for the new closely guarded secret contrivance has built to frenzy. Meanwhile, Kyle's cousin, "Kyle", comes to South Park for extended visit. Kyle is upset because his cousin embarrasses him in front of his friends.

When Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Cartman pick on Token for being the only rich kid in town, Token lures other affluent people like himself to South Park. The townspeople are fed up when all the rich people start moving in, and go to extremes to drive them out.

Cartman accidently discovers a rich source of stem cells and sells them on the open market. When his new source of income is threatened, Cartman fights the system and takes his case all the way to the U.S. Congress.

Butters inadvertently reveals a deep, dark family secret and the ramifications lead him into the seedy underbelly of the big city. Alone and lost Butters determinedly makes his way through porn theatres and gay bathhouses in an effort get back home.

The kids learn that Talk Shows offer special assistance to grossly disfigured people who appear on their show. They immediately sign Butters up as a guest with a a strange deformity. With the help of some strategic physical enhancement, Butters is sure to beat out all the other freaks and win a prize. However, when there isn't enough of Butters' prize to go around Cartman makes a bid for his own guest spot with Maury when he talks him mom into joining him on the segment entitled, "Please Help My Out of Control Child"

The boys find out the secret behind a popular celebrity's weight loss is that the company who sponsored him gave him Aides.

The grand vacation begins when the boy's parents are offered a free ski trip to Aspen, but of course, there's a catch: they have to attend one meeting about time-share opportunities. Meanwhile on the slopes, Stan has a run in with one of the locals and is challenged to race the best skier on the mountain.

Excited to catch a first look of the new Terrance and Phillip movie, the boys make like Cartman and sit their butts in front of the TV to catch the trailer during a commercial break on the long running series, "Russell Crowe: Fighting Around the World."

Stan is appalled when he realizes the veal he's been eating is, in fact, the meat from precious little baby calves. He and the boys save the soon-to-be slaughtered calves by kidnapping them from the farm and hiding them in Stan's bedroom. When the police show up, the boys refuse to give up the animals and a standoff ensues. Cartman steps up to the megaphone and assumes the role of negotiator.

Stan, Kyle and Cartman are not pleased with the job Butters is doing as the their replacement friend. Since Kenny died, Butters has taken his place in the group and the boys think he really sucks at it and decide to fire him. Cartman, Stan and Kyle end up having to hold auditions for a new kid to take dear sweet Kenny's place. Butters of course, is devastated over the loss of his new found best buddies and the trauma of it all unleashes his alter ego "Professor Chaos".

The boys break into Ms. Choksondiks' autopsy to retrieve Cartman's Sea men from her stomach. Meanwhile, as Professor Chaos, Butters moves forward with yet another diabolical plan to destroy the world.

When the Catholic Church scandal negatively impacts church attendance in South Park, Priest Maxi travels to Rome to confront religious leaders about a solution . After intensive counseling about the issue, the boys try to understand why anyone would want to put something up their butts.

The boys take on a cause close to their hearts when they realize that their favorite films are being enhanced, re-released and ruined in the process. Disappointed by the latest versions of the classics like "Star Wars" and "E.T.," their club aims to stop certain famous directors from wrecking any more of their original masterpieces.

The boys are faced with a new challange in life. Wendy's pal Bebe is the first girl in the fourth grade to "develop". Her tiny buds of womanhood inspire an almost primate-like reaction from all the boys in class that threaten their friendship and society in general.

In an effort to protect their children from kidnappers, the parents hire the owner of City Wok to build the Great Wall of South Park.

Stan, Kyle and Cartman want Kenny back so badly, they'll try anything. They decide to build a ladder to Heaven where they expect to find Kenny and bring him back to South Park. But Kenny isn't the only one residing in Heaven; when we last checked Saddam Hussein was being detained in paradise as well. As their ladder stretches skyward the U.S. government carefully monitors the boys' progress. Will the boys find Kenny? Is Saddam stockpiling weapons of mass destruction in heaven?

Infused with the spirit of Gandalf and Frodo, the boys embark upon a mythical quest as they set out to return their copy of the "The Lord of the Rings" movie to their local video store. Meanwhile, Butters watches his first porno.

Mr. Garrison is back as the boys' 4th Grade Teacher, and the boys have been sent to a place where they will learn "cultural sensitivity". Ever since Ms. Chokosondik's untimely demise at the end of last season, Stan, Kyle and Cartman have been without a teacher. Principal Victoria rescues Mr. Garrison from his stint with the "booger- eating, pants crapping kindergarteners" and promotes him to teach the 4th grade. Informed that fourth graders are a little too old for Mr. Hat, Garrison comes to class with a new, and even more inappropriate, assistant.

When a famous psychic fails to help him exorcise Kenny from his body, Cartman takes other steps to achieve his goal. He and Chef travel to the moors of Scotland, where Chef's mom tries a little of her voodoo magic on him. Meanwhile, after the boy's encounter with the TV psychic, Kyle is paralyzed with fear at the thought of members of the spirit world watching over him. Only by debunking those who claim they can communicate with the dead can Stan save Kyle.

A naked man claiming to be Stan from the future is welcomed into the Marsh's home and Cartman starts a new business, the business of revenge.

Once again, it's Christmas time in South Park. When all the tallies are in, Cartman is over drawn in the "naughty" column. He has to score one big "nice" to be eligible for Christmas presents this year. With the help of Santa, Mr. Hankey and Jesus, Cartman attempts to bring Christmas to the downtrodden citizens of Iraq.

The boys join some anti-war protesters because it's a free pass out of school for the day. Their simple plan to protest their way out of class goes south when they find themselves in the middle of the two opposing sides of the war issue. Meanwhile, Cartman tries to have a flashback to 1776 to avoid studying for his American History assignment

Jimmy is offended when a recently disabled celebrity sweeps through town and steals his limelight. He and Timmy pull together a group of people like themselves who were handicapped from birth. They call their new club the "Crips"

Cartman convinces the boys to "toilet paper" their teacher's house. After the fact, Kyle is overwhelmed with guilt and on the verge of confessing his part in the prank. Officer Barbrady is hot on the perpetrators' trail, while Cartman contemplates killing Kyle so he doesn't rat them all out.

The boys discover Earth is nothing but one big intergalactic reality show and it's about to be cancelled. With a nod to the first episode of South Park, the satellite dish in Cartman's ass has been reactivated. The question of "Visitors" in the small mountain town is finally answered when the aliens return to wrap up one of their longest running reality shows, "Earth". Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny are once again trapped in space and it's up to them to save the planet from annihilation.

One of Cartman's body parts becomes too famous for its own good. The real Jenny From the Block is enraged to learn that a new "Diva" has stolen her record deal and her boyfriend! South Park will never be the same after Jenny & Ben meet the new "Ms. Lopez."

Cartman, Kyle, Stan and Kenny start their very own South Park detective agency. After they return a missing doll to a little girl, the police department recognizes the boys' efforts and they are officially named junior deputies. Their next assignment: to break up a meth lab.

The owners of the Three Feathers Indian Casino have acquired the town of South Park. The citizens are being forced off their land to make way for a new super highway. Faced with saying goodbye to their friends and their way of life, the boys rally the townspeople to fight back against the rich and powerful Indians.

The whole town joining the hip new homosexual craze. Suddenly, it's cool to be gay! Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny go head to head with the other kids to see who can be the "gayest," while Mr. Garrison responds with, "If straight people are gonna steal our culture, then us REAL gays are just gonna have to step it up a notch!"

Cartman, Butters and Token rocket to the top of the Christian rock charts with their own messages of faith in an all-new episode, entitled ÒChristian Rock Hard." When the other boys kick Cartman out of their band, Cartman pulls his own group together to make music for Jesus. Meanwhile, Stan, Kyle and Kenny are arrested for downloading music from the Internet.

After the seniors have mowed down more than a few farmer's markets, South Park residents no longer feel it's safe to be out in the streets. With their well being at stake, the boys decide to take action against the older generation. Unwilling to surrender their licenses, the elderly enlist the help of one of the most powerful organizations in Washington.

Kyle's parents are taking him and three of his friends to Casa Bonita, Colorado's version of a Mexican Disneyland. When Kyle chooses to invite Butters over him, Cartman arranges to have poor Butters go conveniently "missing."

A Mormon kid moves to South Park and Stan has to kick his ass. But when Stan and his dad meet their new Mormon neighbors, they become fascinated with how genuinely nice they are. While the other boys mock Stan relentlessly for wimping out, the rest of the town become Mormons.

After Representatives from the anti-smoking campaign do their song and dance for the children of South Park Elementary, the boys take up the nasty habit.

Wendy breaks up with Stan because he never spends any time with her. To cheer him up, the boys take him to "Raisins," a local restaurant known for its cheap food and hot girls. Later, as Stan tries desperately to win Wendy back, Butters believes he's found the girl of his dreams.

The Brovlofski family is dealt a devastating blow when Ike's Canadian birth parents show up unexpectedly and want their baby back. When the townspeople decide to forego Christmas gifts and take up a collection to get Ike home to South Park, the boys are distraught. Before all the money for their Christmas presents gets spent, they hightail it to Canada to bring Ike home themselves.

South Park takes on the look of Japanese Anime. The boys are transformed into Japanese Warriors after they buy martial arts weapons at a local flea market. Their sworn enemy, Professor Chaos, confronts them and a highly stylized battle ensues.

Cartman hatches his next genius plan for picking on Butters when he becomes AWESOM-O. In this week's episode, Cartman dresses up like a robot, calls himself AWESOM-O, and moves in with Butters. His plan is to learn all of Butter's innermost secrets and then use them against him. While Butters is thrilled to have found a new best friend, the Army believes AWESOM-O is some new secret weapon, and Hollywood is after the phony robot to develop their next big blockbuster.

Jimmy is in training for an upcoming sporting event and he's determined to win at any cost. Cartman feels he can easily take first place against Jimmy. He just has to convince the qualifying committee he's handicapped.

Kyle finally sees "The Passion" and is forced to admit Cartman has been right all along. Meanwhile many of the film's hardcore fans band together under Cartman's leadership to carry out it's message.

It's up to Stan to put a team of South Park's best dancers together to compete against a rival troupe from Orange County. While Butters has won awards for his dancing, he refuses to help Stan out, as he hasn't been able to dance since the tragic death of eight audience members at his last competition.

Humans from the year 4035 are arriving in droves in South Park! Everything gets a little too crowded when people from the future arrive through a recently discovered time portal. When the boys try to earn some extra money, the time immigrants, who are willing to do the same work for next to nothing, take their jobs.

All the children of South Park are attracted to ÒMr. Jefferson", his son and their home filled with games, toys and animals. Cartman goes out of his way to get ÒMr. Jefferson" to love him while the local police force resent him for being black and wealthy and decide bring him down.

When PETA demonstrates against the use of a cow as South Park Elementary's mascot, the student body is forced to choose a new one. As the election approaches, Kyle tries to convince everyone that his candidate, a giant douche, is better than Cartman's nominee, a turd sandwich.

The streets of South Park are like a ghost-town when a giant Wall-Mart lures all the townspeople to the new store with its incredible bargains. Cartman becomes a boy possessed by the power of Wall-Mart and its low, low prices. In order to save their town, Stan and Kyle have to find a way to destroy the ever-expanding superstore while keeping Cartman from stabbing them in the back.

For five long years, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and Butters have kept a secret about an illegal incident that happened back in pre-school. Now, the kid who took the fall for the group, Trent Boyett, is getting out of "juvie" and his first order of business is revenge.

The boys of South Park produce their own morning news show on the school's closed-circuit television station and are immediately caught up in the intense competition for ratings.

All the fourth grade girls idolize a rich, famous and spoiled socialite. They even have her brand new toy set that comes complete with video camera, night vision filter, play money and losable cell phone. In an effort to impress their idol, the girls pursue the boys to make their own videos.

After sustaining a severe head injury, Cartman appears to have the power to see into the future. South Park detectives are quick to enlist his help in cracking unsolved murder cases and Cartman is more than willing to help, for a price. In the meantime, a group of "licensed" psychics cry foul when Cartman refuses to join their ranks.

Stan is approached by the forest critters and asked to help them build a manger in anticipation of the birth of their Lord and Savior. Stan complies, only to find out that they serve a... very different Lord.

Mr. Garrison goes to great lengths to get what he's always wanted...a sex change. As he enjoys his new womanly attributes, the rest of the town gets in touch with their inner feelings too. Meanwhile, Kyle wrestles with the fact that Jews just aren't good at basketball.

Cartman warns the citizens of South Park that it will only be a matter of days before the town becomes the Hippie Capital of the World. No one will believe him until they find out the hippies plan to stage a weeklong music fest. The town has no choice but to turn to Cartman for help. He then puts his plan to eradicate his lifelong enemies in motion.

As talent agents, Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny can bank 10% of their client's earnings. After they pool all their resources to impress their one and only client, another agency steals him away. Desperate to earn their money back, they take on another client with plans to launch her on a new reality show.

Cartman is jealous when Kenny gets the last new portable gaming device before the toy store runs out. Will Cartman and Kenny be able to stay best friends forever?

The kids desperately want an end to the boring baseball season. The problem is they've won so many games that now they're in the playoffs. Just one loss would mean the season's finished and they'd be free from America's favorite pastime for the entire summer.

Cartman is dead and Butters seems to be the only one who can communicate with him!

All the kids are getting ready for the big South Park Elementary Talent Show and Jimmy can't wait to perform his new comedy routines. But lately, just like generations of little boys before him, Jimmy's noticed that one of his body parts has a mind of its own. Knowing he can't get up in front of the entire school in an excited state, Jimmy must find a way to gain control of his raging hormones in time to perform in the show.

A GLOBAL WARMING STATE OF EMERGENCY is declared in South Park. The world's largest beaver dam breaks and floods the adjacent town of Beaverton. As the victims wait for help to arrive, everyone in South Park tackles priority number one: who is to blame? Only Stan and Cartman know who's really at fault.

The 4th grade girls are having a sleepover. It's imperative that the boys find out what goes on behind those closed doors. Butters is picked to be the boy who must fake his death, become a girl and infiltrate this age-old feminine tradition.

Mrs. Garrison realizes he still has feelings for Mr. Slave. But, Mr. Slave has moved on. He plans to marry his new love as soon as the Governor signs the same-sex marriage bill. Mrs. Garrison leads the charge against gay marriage.

In his classroom presentation, Cartman points to people with red hair, light skin and freckles as an inferior race. Cartman thinks differently when, one morning, he himself wakes up with an advanced case of Gingervitus! Unable to endure being ostracized for his looks, he rallies all Ginger Kids everywhere to fight discrimination.

Religious leaders believe Stan is the new "Golden Child" and a whole soap opera unfolds with the help of a famous R&B singer.

A "talking" whale inspires the fourth-graders to risk everything to return him to his family. With the police on their tails, the boys enlist the help of a foreign government and embark upon an adventure you'll not soon forget. One in which the boys learn just how far you would go for a friend.

Stan is embarrassed in front of his friends when his dad is arrested for drunk driving. In a neighboring town, a bleeding statue of Mary is discovered and the faithful are flocking to the site hoping to be healed. Stan's dad is sure the bleeding Virgin can cure him of his "disease."

The town is jolted out of a case of the doldrums when Chef suddenly reappears. While Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman are thrilled to have their old friend back, they notice that something about chef seems different. When Chef's strange behavior starts getting him in trouble, the boys pull out all the stops to save him.

Stan is the driving force who gets the citizens of South Park to buy hybrid cars. Just as everyone starts to feel really good about what they're doing to help save the earth, scientists discover a stormy, dark mass accumulating over the town.

Kyle loves "Family Guy" and hates Cartman. The two boys embark upon a mad chase across the country and the fate of "Family Guy" lies with the first boy to reach Hollywood.

After leaving Kyle injured on the side of the road, Cartman races to the headquarters of "Family Guy" determined to put an end to the show once and for all.

Towelie gets over his drug addiction and writes a moving book about his experiences. Thanks to Oprah's support, the book becomes a best seller and his story inspires millions to turn their lives around. However, when he's caught in a lie by the grand dame of daytime television, Towelie's old habits start to look mighty appealing.

After the cave-in, all the exits are blocked off and Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman are all alone. Only one person knows they're trapped under all the debris and he's not telling. Cartman's only thought is how to get the treasure out without sharing it with the rest of the boys.

The Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan, takes on his biggest challenge to date when he signs on to discipline Eric Cartman. Cesar may have what it takes, but Cartman isn't going down without a fight.

The boys come into contact with a gamer who doesn't play by the rules. Even the creative people behind World of Warcraft don't know how to stop the renegade. They are forced to put all of their hope into the hands of the kids of South Park. The boys dedicate their lives to defeating the mad gamer and saving the game for all.

No one in South Park is safe from the people who are the real brains behind the 9/11 conspiracy. When Kyle and Stan hit the road in search of the truth, they come face-to-face with the masterminds who pulled off the most elaborate, intricate and flawlessly executed operation in American history.

A South Park Elementary School teacher is conducting an illicit affair with a student. As the new School Hallway Monitor, Cartman takes it personally when an infraction is committed in his jurisdiction.

Satan is busy checking the R.S.V.P. list and deciding what costume to wear to the big event. Every detail must be perfect for the prince of darkness. But even Satan can't foresee everything. A prominent religious organization, an ex-lover and the antics of the most notorious serial killers of all time threaten Satan's fun.

South Park Elementary faces strong opposition to the topic of evolution being taught to the 4th graders. The most vocal protests are from Ms. Garrison who has to teach it. Eric Cartman can't be bothered with what's going on in class. He's busy manipulating his own personal time-line to align with the precise release date of the newest, hottest game.

Last week Eric Cartman froze himself in an attempt to make his three-week wait for a hot, new, gaming device pass quickly. A freak accident landed him over 500 years in the future and now he's stuck there. The future is a tumultuous place with warring factions, angry sea otters and no Nintendo. Will Cartman find a way back to his own time?

Stan Marsh has hit rock bottom. He's got no job, no bicycle and his only way out of a bad situation, is to coach the local pee wee hockey team. Once a hotshot pee wee hockey player himself, Stan Marsh has tried to put those days behind him. But he's still living with the memory of how let his team down when he missed the winning shot in the big game. Now, he's about to find out that being a coach means facing your past. He's determined to show his kids what it's like to be a winner!

While the citizens of "South Park" must contend with the widespread use of the racial slur, the "N" word, Cartman fights a midget.

When another one of Cartman's practical jokes puts Butters in a compromising position, his dad is determined to "straighten him out." While Butters is at a special camp trying to "pray the gay away," Cartman realizes the joke is on him.

Confidentiality about who has head lice must be maintained so no child is embarrassed; so says the administration at South Park Elementary. When Garrison refuses to name names, Cartman finds a way to detect who has the head cooties.

The clock is ticking as the citizens prepare for Hillary Clinton's big campaign rally. Every minute counts as Cartman uses his own methods to interrogate the suspect. But could the plan to target Hillary Clinton be just the tip of the iceberg?

Stan just wants someone to explain what eggs have to do with Jesus dying for his sins. Determined to get the real story behind all of the eggs and bunnies that are part of the Easter ritual, Stan and Kyle fall in with an eccentric society that guards a legendary secret.

Every time Ms. Garrison gets dumped, life becomes unbearable in the classroom. When the boys can no longer handle their teacher's erratic mood swings and excessive homework assignments, they discover people-for-hire who can help out in any situation.

Increasing numbers of homeless are eating, sleeping and asking for change all over South Park. While the adults are working on creative solutions to care for the homeless, the boys are busy solving the problem once and for all.

Cartman discovers the joys of having Tourette's syndrome. Drunk with the power of saying whatever he wants without getting in trouble for it, he lines up National TV Coverage to take advantage of his new life with no filters.

Randy becomes South Park's home-town hero when the guys down at the local bar see the size of his most recent crap. Randy contacts a society that keeps track of the world record, thinking his masterpiece would definitely be a contender.

Finding Cartman's leprechaun is just the tip of the iceberg when the boys are about to have the entire contents of the world's imagination laid before them. The boys realize that what they know has become a valuable commodity to the U. S. government. Meanwhile, Butters is about to become collateral damage.

The government needs to find a way into Imaginationland and Stan and Kyle are the only two people known to have been there. Meanwhile, Cartman can't rest until Kyle fulfills his side of the court-ordered agreement to suck his balls.

Inside Imaginationland, Stan and Butters engage in the battle of their lives as they fight the army of evil imaginary forces. Meanwhile, Cartman goes all the way to the Supreme Court to get Kyle to suck his balls.

Obsessed with the Guitar Hero video game, Stan and Kyle make a great team and score record points when they play. Stan realizes he has the potential for enormous success if he plays with another partner. He and Kyle break up but, without his friend, Stan quickly folds under the pressure of being a rockstar.

The girls in the fourth grade class have made a secret list that rates every boy's looks from cutest to ugliest. When the boys steal the list, they are completely unprepared to deal with the results.

The face of South Park could change forever when Eric Cartman is diagnosed with an incurable disease. When the support Cartman is counting on falls short, he has to take matters into his own hands.

When the boys help Britney Spears get to the North Pole, they discover the shocking secret behind her popularity.

In a South Park homage to the 1981 film, "Heavy Metal", the boys are trying to get Kenny off the latest drug craze that's captured the junior high and under set.

The head of the World Canadian Bureau leads the country into a long and painful strike and the responsibility of brokering a settlement rests with the boys.

While Ms. Garrison is off trying to find a way to become the man he was always intended to be, Cartman is put in charge of the classroom.

One day the citizens of South Park wake up and find the internet is gone. When Randy hears there may still be some internet out in California, he packs up his family and heads west.

While the kids are on an educational field trip to a living museum, Cartman makes Butters sneak away from the class to go to the amusement center located next door.

After watching the intimidating opening ceremonies of the recent Olympic games, Cartman understands that the Chinese are only just days away from invading his homeland. While the rest of the American people are haunted by the memory of a recent tragic event, only Butters will stand with Cartman as he confronts the Chinese.

Wendy gets in trouble when she threatens to beat up Cartman after school. No matter how fired up Wendy is, all bets are on Cartman. everybody knows a girl can't fight a boy and win.

The boys find a way to make money off an international crisis that requires no talent and very little effort. Cartman convinces the other boys to invite Craig to get in on their latest plan. He knows Craig has just what it takes to make their dream a reality.

The boys are lost in the Andes Mountains where they discover the startling secret behind the attack of the giant guinea pigs. The boys now have the power to rescue their town and the rest of the world from the onslaught but the Head of Homeland Security stands firmly in their way. Meanwhile, Randy bravely documents the destruction while trying to save his family.

While the country celebrates, the President-elect catches everyone off guard when he arrives at the White House prematurely. From the Oval Office, the new Commander-In-Chief assembles his team and prepares for the job ahead.

Stan realizes he could lose Wendy if he doesn't get on board with the latest fad to hit South Park Elementary. Cartman would rather kill himself than succumb. But, when Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman all realize that Butters is now more popular than they are, they have no choice but to give in to peer pressure.

Butters is sure he's seen a vampire at school but he can't get anyone to listen to him. Meanwhile, the Goth Kids are angry and frustrated when the other kids can't tell the difference between a Goth and a Vampire.

Thinking it's his way into her heart and other body parts, Kenny takes his new girlfriend to a Jonas Brothers concert. His dream of taking their relationship to the next level is crushed when the Jonas Brothers give them purity rings.

"The Coon" rises from the trash and takes his place as a lone vigilante who wipes out crime in the town of South Park. A rival superhero appears on the scene in the form of "Mysterion" and challenges the Coon's place as a "symbol" for the town.

Randy steps forward with a solution to fix the desperate financial state everyone finds themselves in. The town gets behind him and everyone starts to live a life that no longer depends on any economy at all. Meanwhile an unlikely savior makes the ultimate sacrifice to solve everyone's problems.

Someone played an April Fool's joke on the boys and it didn't go over well. Butters is incapacitated, Cartman is furious and the rest of the boys are afraid someone might do it again.

Cartman decides to help Jimmy with his comedy routine. Everyone loves the new joke they come up with. The joke starts to take off and it even hits all the late night talk shows. The boys are thrilled with how popular it's become until somebody tries to take all the credit.

Randy is determined that stan will win this year's pinewood derby. He comes up with a plan that will assure Stan a first place trophy.

Butters and a small group of recruits join Cartman in his dream of living on Skull Island where they will frolic in crystal clear waterfalls and discover buried treasure. Cartman promises that paradise awaits if they can just get to Somalia.

Powerful forces are tormenting Ike. He's freaked out and the stress could kill him. Kyle and the boys are doing everything they can to save him but the poltergeists won't leave him alone.

Butters has made it all the way to the 4th grade without ever kissing a girl. All of his friends have been teasing him mercilessly. Butters is determined to catch up with the rest of the boys in his class. Meanwhile, one overly dedicated cop wages war on Prostitution in South Park.

The boys have found their new calling in life and they hurry to sign up for the wrestling club. They soon find out THE KIND OF WRESTLING THEY TEACH AT SCHOOL IS not the same thing they saw at the WWE. The boy's wrestling coach has the same problem. He's been struggling for years to get people to see the difference.

Stan and his family are spending his birthday at the Denver Aquarium where they will get to swim with the dolphins. Things turn bloody when the Japanese attack, kill all the dolphins and ruin Stan's big day. There seems to be no end to the senseless killing. Stan takes on the cause to save the dolphins from the Japanese.

Everyone agrees they've had enough of the loud and obnoxious bikers that have arrived in South Park. The boys are taking on the Harley Riders. They throw down the F word and the game is on.

Eric Cartman seizes the opportunity to become the voice of change at the school when he takes over the morning announcements. His target is South Park Elementary's Student Body President, Wendy Testaburger. Cartman is asking the tough questions and gaining followers.

Things at the water park are not what they seem. The boy's fun filled day is about to turn deadly. Events are in play at Splash Town that signal the end of the world is upon us. Cartman tries to warn everyone but no one will listen. Disaster is about to strike and the boys are in a race to survive.

The nation's top scientists come together to put a stop to the recent phenomenon of rich, successful men who suddenly want to have sex with many, many women. After extensive testing, some of the fourth grade boys in South Park Elementary are diagnosed as sex addicts.

The boys are given a controversial book to read in school that both excites and inspires them to write one of their own. When the boys discover that Stan's mom has found their masterpiece, their new motivation is how they can stay out of trouble.

State Law in Colorado says it's legal to smoke pot if you have a physician's reference. Randy is the first-in-line to buy some but he's turned away because there's absolutely nothing wrong with him. Randy is desperate to get a medical excuse to smoke some weed but meanwhile, Cartman will do anything to get his beloved fried chicken restaurant back.

Kyle "friended" the wrong person and now all of his old friends are deserting him. His situation is desperate. Kyle looks for help from the one person who has always been there for him.

While on a school field trip, Stan accidentally INSULTS Tom Cruise and sets off a chain reaction. 200 previously ridiculed celebrities stand strong in a class action lawsuit against the town of South Park. This could be the thing that destroys South Park forever.

It's a tense situation in South Park as Muhammad has become the pawn in the game to save the town. The Ginger kids are threatening to destroy the city if Stan and Kyle don't hand over the Prophet and the celebrities have met violence with violence by unleashing Mecha Streisand. In the midst of all of this, all anyone really wants to know is, who is Eric Cartman's father?

Competition is the name of the game this summer. There is no time for Jimmy and his friends to slack off. They're working to be this year's champions at summer camp. Jimmy suits up and prepares to shred in the annual surfing contest.

Cartman wants to race with the pros and he's ready to do whatever it takes to make it happen. He's afraid that no matter how hard he tries, he'll never reach the the level of the other NASCAR drivers. Working with Butters as his pit boss, Cartman pulls out all the stops to compete in the race of his life.

Everything east of the Rockies is now part of New Jersey!! South Park is in danger of becoming West Jersey within the week. As the Jerseyites spill into Colorado and approach South Park, Randy and the boys stand strong against the onslaught.

When he's sent to the school counselor to talk about his disorder, Stan realizes that he's not the only one who has a problem. When Mr. Mackey and Stan agree to surrender themselves to the hoarding experts, Stan gets a more than a glimpse of what it was like for Mr. Mackey in the 4th grade at South Park Elementary.

The Coon now leads an entire team of crime-fighters. They are ready to take their place among the worlds most admired and beloved super heroes. But much to the Coons dismay, someone else keeps beating them to the punch. The nation looks to another hero to get them through the BP disaster and dissention develops within the ranks of Coon and friends.

Led by Mysterion, Coon and Friends are working together to help the people in the Gulf who are at the mercy of the dark lord, Cthulhu. The Coon, scorned by his fellow super heroes and now working alone, is out for revenge.

The Coon shows himself to be even more evil than the dark lord, Cthulhu, as he punishes his former partners in Coon & Friends. Kenny McCormick, is wrestling with the weight of his own super power through his alter-ego, Mysterion.

Stans life is a shambles both at home and in school. Randys obsession with the Food Network Is changing everything. It even forces Sharon to explore a new interest of her own. When his mom takes off with her "new interest", Stan is left behind to pick up the pieces.

Kyle is intimately involved in the development of a revolutionary new product that is about to be launched by Apple. Meanwhile, Cartman doesn't even have a regular iPad yet. He blames his mother.

At the schools first annual Comedy Awards, Jimmy announces that the Germans are the least funny people in the world. Germany is highly insulted. They vow that retaliation toward the kids at South Park Elementary will be swift and brutal.

It is a joyous time for all Canadians as the royal wedding commences. But just as the prince and princess are about to be joined for all eternity, the princess is abducted! All Canadians are called upon to help save the princess. Ike answers the call to arms.

Cartman is furious when the school posts the kids penis sizes on the bulletin board. He throws an absolute fit and once again finds himself in the principal's office. This time he gets sent to anger management therapy.

Cartman has a new protege. He's found someone who is smart, ambitious and willing to look the other way in order to get to the top. Kyle is brought in on the ground floor of Cartman's latest business venture, the Crack Baby Athletic Adventure.

Butters is diagnosed with multiple personality disorder. The boys want to help Butters find out what's really happening to him but Butters may not like what they find.

After Stan celebrates his 10th birthday, he begins to see everything differently. The other boys think he's become a major buzzkill and start to avoid hanging out with him. When Stan and Kyle have a major blow up, the very fabric of South Park begins to unravel.

Cartman finds a unique way of coping with Asperger's Syndrome. Even Kyle and Kenny are on board. Meanwhile, Stan can't seem to get his life back to normal no matter what he tries. Will anything ever be the same in South Park again?

What begins as an innocent game between the boys turns serious when Cartman joins the U.S. Border Patrol. Not surprisingly, Cartman turns out to be really good at stopping Mexicans.

The students of South Park Elementary are the victims of a new gossip website. An elusive hacker has somehow gained access into the student's confidential phone calls and e-mails and is posting all their juicy stories. The boys are shocked when they discover the identity of the hacker.

Sharon is thrilled that Randy is making an effort to do more things that she enjoys. But, after he takes her to see a hit musical in Denver, Randy becomes Broadway's biggest fan. Sharon is whisked away to New York and treated to every musical on the Great White Way.

The kids at South Park Elementary are being punished for Cartman's failings in the physical education department. What will Cartman do when they all gang up on him?

After watching a Thanksgiving special on The History Channel, the boys believe that aliens were involved in the original feast. But, questions remain... was the first Thanksgiving haunted? Is alien technology responsible for stuffing? The truth could change Thanksgiving for everyone.

With their parents in jail, Kenny and his brother and sister find themselves in the foster care system. Cartman is sincerely disturbed when Kenny is taken away. He doesn't know who to rip on for being the poorest kid in school anymore.

One of the boys had been told time and time again about leaving the toilet seat up after he goes to the bathroom, but he didn't listen. His actions have consequences and ultimately result in an unimaginable catastrophe.

Cartman launches a gemstones network show and creates a very lucrative business. Stan searches for the real value of a piece of jewelry that was a gift from his Grandpa. Meanwhile, Cartman's lucrative new business preys upon an extremely vunerable clientele.

Episode 1603 -

Original Air Date 03/28/2012

Mankind's evolution begins to accelerate at a rapid and disturbing pace. Concurrently, another species on the planet is exhibiting the same drastic development. Eventually the two species will battle to the death and "Faith Hilling" may be humanitys only hope.

South Park's big Easter egg hunt is in jeopardy when there are rumors of a dangerous beast lurking in the woods nearby. Cartman tries to warn everyone that their lives are at risk if they participate in the egg hunt. No one believes him until he produces video evidence of the mysterious being.

Stan wants to raise awareness about the dangers of bullying by shooting a big dance video. Will he able to handle the pressure that goes along with the notoriety of taking on such a worthy cause?

The boys are excited to spend a day ziplining in the Colorado Mountains. But high in the Rockies, far from their families, their trip takes a bad turn. Chances of survival are slim. All they can do is wait to be rescued. But will help come too late?

There's a new girl in school and everyone wants to know who she has a crush on. Cartman is especially excited. He's discovered something inside himself that he never knew he had. Now, to make sure nobody gets in the way of true love, it's time for Cartman to finally let someone know exactly how he feels.

As a concerned parent, Randy radically changes the way football is played at South Park Elementary. The new version of the game quickly becomes the nation's most popular sport. One gifted student emerges as a star athlete in Sarcastaball.

Cartman owns up to being fat and decides that driving around on a scooter is his right. Kyle sees that Cartman isn't the only one who finds no shame in his unhealthy lifestyle. Meanwhile, Cartman discovers he has a rival in America's Sweetheart, Honey Boo Boo.

The man who visits all the homes in South Park every day is now under suspicion. The luxury of having packages delivered to your doorstep is suddenly a threat to every family in the neighborhood.

When Butters starts acting out at school, his parents realize it's time to tell him why he's not like all of the other kids. He must travel to a foreign place to learn the ways of his people. It will be a difficult trip for a young boy to make alone so Butters chooses Kenny to travel with him to the distant and secluded island of Hawaii.

The boys are all ready to dress up as their favorite foursome, the Avengers, for Halloween. After months of planning their costumes, at the last minute Randy tells Stan he can't go trick or treating with his friends. Instead, Stan has to pitch in and help his father with a new business venture.

Rocked by the recent news of drug use by a beloved icon, the world is left feeling lost and betrayed. The boys, join with the rest of the nation, and remove their yellow wristbands. Everyone is on board, except for Stan, who just can't seem to cut off his bracelet.

Cartman is hiding something in his bedroom that could change the outcome of the entire election. While Americans innocently plan to go to sleep Tuesday night with the election results counted and a winner announced, Cartman has secretly wrestled control of the presidental election from the voters.